If Jesus Came To Greenville

On December 24th 1989 Rolfe Neill wrote a article in “The Charlotte Observer” asking what Jesus would do if he came to Charlotte on Christmas. I thought it was an interesting article back then so I cut it out and kept it. I recently found it and it got me thinking about if Jesus would ever visit Greenville what would his schedule be. Rolfe’s article was pretty dated with references to Jim Bakker, Phil Donahue, Johnny Carson. I really didn’t want to explain to some 20 year old with skinny jeans so I thought I would modernize it and add my own thoughts of what I think he would do. First of all, I am a believer in Jesus and claim to know him. Heck, I am a old ex-Episcopalian and that is a church started by a man who had six wives, so forgiveness goes without saying.

I have my own thoughts on Jesus. I have read the “red words” in the New Testament and as I said, I am a believer. I always wondered what question I would ask Jesus if I had the chance. I guess my first question to him would be Neil Diamond, Cher, Florida Georgia Line and Luke Bryan? Really? Jesus can you possibly explain that? Please tell me.

I don’t think Jesus would ever say the opening prayer at a Swamp Rabbit game. (Greenville Hockey Team)

I truly think he would be blackballed at most Greenville country clubs. I barely got in some of them.

I think Jesus would stare in stupefaction at all the churches or Baptadome’s or Repentagon’s or campuses as they are called now that are erected in his Father’s name here in Greenville and instead go to a all night chapel and pray alone.

I think he would drop coins in the Salvation Army bucket and spend the night at The Salvation Army.

He would probably ride a bus and not drive a Lamborghini.

I don’t think he would ever take Jennifer Garner’s place in those crappy Capital One commercials.

I think he would go to Perry Correctional and spend time with the inmates.

I think he would go by the Humane Society and pet a dog and wonder why he created a cat………. I mean hold a cat.

I think he would wonder how most church-related colleges justify the claim to themselves.

I think he would visit Carolina Retirement Center and empty the bedpans of the elderly.

He would tell children to obey their parents and husbands and wives to love one another.

He would thank the Gideons for enriching every hotel room in Greenville

I think Jesus would tell Dabo that he better enjoy this run because it won’t last forever.

Just for kicks and giggles he would switch he skin of all black and white people.

He would see that Greenville County leads South Carolina in sex trafficking and wonder why the county, churches and businesses aren’t trying to do more.

I think on Christmas morning he would eat breakfast under the Hollis Bridge and dine with the homeless there. In the afternoon he would spend time at “Home With A Heart” talking with recovering alcoholics and their families. I think he would spend the night at Shepherd’s Gate assisting battered women.

I think he would ask why we waste so much food and thank Loaves and Fishes for helping eliminate waste in Greenville County.

I think Jesus would ask to Spotify Mahalia Jackson and Andre Crouch.

He would visit the Falls Park and feed the birds from his hand.

I think Jesus would scorn many of the sermons preached this day in Greenville in his name and ask whatever happened to the social gospel? How did prosperity religion supplant Jesus teaching? When did the moneychangers regain possession of the temple?

And finally, I think he would look at Greenville as well as all America and see the country that was founded on Christian principles and wonder what has happened. He would probably say that I didn’t make it that hard. All I said was follow these greatest commandments. “Love your God with all your heart and secondly, love your neighbor as you would yourself. ” Jesus would probably say that you are failing miserably.

Big Big Bob Gibson

I stumbled across  BBQ sauce crack at “The Local Cue” in Greenville.  I am not very big on bar food however if you want something different and different I mean these guys smoke their own wings and that come from big chickens. They also have Brisket Nachos, BBQ Benedict, Chilaquiles, Pork and Collard Spring Rolls with, Memphis Red, SC Gold, NC Vinegar, blackberry habanero, Korean BBQ, Singapore BBQ sauces.  This place is numero uno in Greenville for bar food.  But what makes this BBQ kick is the “White Sauce”!!!!!! Made from Duke’s Mayo, (there is no other) horseradish, vinegar, lemon juice, sugar  as well as other things that I have tried to perfect.  

Big Bob Gibson Bar-B-Q began bottling their Original White Sauce in the mid-90s. It’s now available in grocery stores in Alabama, Tennessee, Mississippi, Georgia and Florida, as well as specialty shops across the country.  

In their restaurants, Big Bob Gibson Bar-B-Q uses the sauce as fast as they can make it. Each smoked chicken that comes off the pit in the pit room gets dipped in a vat of white barbecue sauce. “It gives it a good coating and it keeps the chicken from drying out while we hold it on the service line,”  They don’t do another sauce application until it gets to the table out front where the customer can add more white sauce if they want to.

Now, there are those that swear up and down that Big Bob didn’t start the Alabama White Sauce craze in Alabama but when you think of Alabama White Sauce, Big Bob Gibson’s name will pop up. You can go online and get several variations of it.  I’ve had different versions.  Eating it is was like the first time I had guacamole. I had to close my eyes because it looked like my friends daughters diaper. That sauce just looks like somebody spooged all over the chicken but my oh my this is some good sauce and the Local Cue   – 30 Orchard Park Dr, Suite 7, Greenville, South Carolina 29615 – does there version of the  white sauce right, plus they have 20 or so taps. Believe me, it’s the greatest BBQ sauce ever.  

Pick Up Your Lambo Keys And Follow Me

Living in Greenville SC it is hard not to listen to local or national news and not hear about Greenville Pastor John Gray of Relentless Church and the $200,000 anniversary gift he gave his wife.  In his defense Gray has said he has saved his money for years and drew on a variety of sources financially including his second book deal and the fourth season of The Book of John Gray, his Oprah Winfrey Network reality-TV show, to pay for the gift.   I also know the church is very involved in the community and does good things in the Greenville area however I also believe that the version of Christianity that John Gray, Joel Osteen, Steven Furick’s of the world  bloviate  are the very ones who have given American Christianity the black eye that it deserves.  If I was starving for religion and  walked into a religious buffett restaurant and I had the choice of anything I wanted, including American Christianity,  I would walk away hungry because there would be nothing that would appeal to me.  John Gray may be a good man but like he and the others it is all about the money. I have always thought pastors were like football coaches.  You would never see Dabo leave Clemson and go to Furman much like you would never see John Gray leave Relentless Church to go to my Church that has around 100 people on Sunday mornings. For some reason when the Lord speaks it is always a move upward and it’s always about the Benjamins. Pastor Gray asked “What is the big deal?” Their to me lies the problem.  He doesn’t know that it is a big deal.  He doesn’t understand that it is a big deal.  He can’t see that it is a big deal.  Besides, Jesus would have bought American.

  

So I Decided To Write A Blog

So I have decided to start a blog.  I have found out as I have gotten older that I enjoy writing.  It runs in the family, my grandmother and my mother wrote poetry and my grandmother journaled back before jouraling became popular. My brother has a blog and also has written several books, so now I guess it is my turn.  I can’t see myself writing a book and honestly I can’t see anyone really reading this blog so mostly it is for my own entertainment.  Call it therapy, I guess. Occasionally there may be something that someone in passing may find interesting and if that is the case, please tell me. I pondered for awhile on what to name this thing, because every blog has to have a catchy name.  I was listening to Dan Le Batard on ESPN radio and he speaks of all the gasbag coaches at press conferences who always talk but nothing ever comes out of their mouth. Perfect….. Much like myself, I talk all the time but nothing ever really comes out of my mouth.  “Reflections Of A Gasbag”  was born.    Merriam Webster defines gasbag as “a  person who talks too much, typically about unimportant things”.  Nuff said.  I will write about restaurants I visit, food which I consume, music that I listen to, places I have traveled and hope to travel to and culture in general. I will gasbag on some things that are important but mostly I’ll be gasbagging about things that aren’t.  Life is short and it gets shorter with every passing day.  Let’s enjoy it, laugh about it because there is so, so,  so much material to choose from.