It’s That Time Of Year and Does It Suck

  • Pumpkin spice is a combination of cinnamon, clove, nutmeg, and ginger- if you’re lucky, you might actually get real pumpkin, too.
  • Starbucks began serving pumpkin spice latte’s back in 2003.
  • Speaking of Starbucks’ PSL, it was only until recently that they added “real pumpkin” to their lattes; but don’t jump for joy yet… it’ still less than 2%.
  • Despite pumpkin spice being a seasonal favorite, fresh pumpkin sales have dropped, according to the BBC.

Yes boys and girls it is that wonderful time of year when Pumpkin Spice invades our country. Lock the refrigerator, bolt the cupboards and barricade the pantry. Pumpkin spice is here. Don’t we have enough problems? Trump, Democrats, hurricanes, debt. Just like the yearly visit from Santa and the Easter Bunny, Pumpkin Spice rears its ugly, nasty tasting head every September. It comes back like a bad Urinary Tract Infection. Much like Christmas, the season starts earlier. The invasion once started in November now it begins as a full frontal assault in September while the thermometer is still showing 100 degrees.

Take a guess at just how many pumpkin spice lattes Starbucks has sold over the past decade. The answer — Starbucks has sold over over 200,000,000 of these bad boys since 2003. Who are these people and why do they exist. Fall has always been my favorite season of the year, a time where we get some relief from the hot summers we have here in South Carolina. A cool breeze, sweatshirts and shorts, a nice fire in my fire pit with scotch in hand listening to Jason Isbell or The Mavericks. This is fall in the good in the good ole USA.

It was bad enough that when Rebecca and I go into a coffee shop I have to endure the horrible smell of Pumpkin Spice. Now I can’t go into QT without being extra careful since Coffee Mate French Vanilla and Pumpkin Spice are almost identical in packaging. I had first hand experience. My local grocery store  has a pumpkin spice display set up with every pumpkin spice flavored food item imaginable, I saw a pumpkin spice multi purpose cleaner and pumpkin spice deodorant. Trader Joe’s has available for purchase 60 freaking Pumpkin Spice items in their store per the blackboard on the Anderson check out isle. Life is not fair. And nothing is worse than saying no to the little old lady offering you samples of pumpkin spice cheesecake at Costco. She looks at you like you are wearing a MAGA hat at the CNN building in Atlanta.

So who are these people and why are they breathing the same air as I am. Why do they even exist. Rumor has it that it is a bunch of white women in yoga pants. Enough is enough. For the respect of food we need to end this pumpkin spice charade. Get off the bus. Join me in getting this pimple on my rear end off the planet and then and only then can we truly enjoy Fall. Just think in another month or so we can start the Peppermint invasion. Peppermint Lattes……. now that is something I can get behind.

Just as a side note. In no way does the sign reflect the sermons of my pastor. His sermons are more like Peppermint.

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