My aunt died this past Thursday. She died peacefully after battling leukemia as well as dementia. She was a wonderful woman. She was the organist at Belair United Methodist Church for over 50 years where I grew up in Indian Land, SC. She loved Roosters. Paintings, of roosters, ceramic roosters, coffee table rooster books. She loved to wear leopard print pants, dresses. She had leopard pajamas, sheets, shoes, etc. She had her own style. Unique you might say. She was quite a lady but now she is gone. Her 87 years on this earth has been completed. She is now that passing mist.

Hospice on their website says that there are six (6) purposes for a funeral. Reality, recall, support, expression, meaning, transcendence. All of which is true. The reality is that my aunt did die. That was pretty apparent. We recalled her life and the family was there for support and we spoke about her life that she had lived. Also a time of reflecting, the thinking of our lives and how we need to spend our remaining time.

I’m not big on funerals. I don’t know of anybody who is, I guess. I was introduced to them at a early age when my mother passed away from ALS. We watched her fight death just so she could see us one last time. I don’t really remember that much about the funeral except seeing her in a casket. A young boy should never have to experience that as a lasting memory. Several years later I got to experience my dads funeral. Needless to say I did not walk into the room where his casket was lying open and to this day i refuse to indulge in that morbid practice. 

Thanatophobia is the extreme fear of death and the dying process. I am that honest, death scares the hell out of me. It is the ultimate end. I don’t dread death, it is inevitable. My fear of death is so strong, strong enough to compel me to force kale down my throat, run sweatily on a treadmill at 7am on a Monday morning, and show my genitals to a stranger with cold hands and a white coat if we feel something’s a little off and am completely willing to bend over and have my doc…….you know check things out.

“But no, I don’t fear death. In fact, I look forward to it—and the reason is because I know that when I die I will go into God’s presence forever. This world is temporary; heaven is forever. This world is filled with sorrow and pain; heaven is filled with joy and freedom. This world is filled with insecurity and turmoil; heaven is filled with security and peace. In heaven, “There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away” (Revelation 21:4)

That truly is a beautiful verse but I am often amused when some of my Christian friends say that they welcome death or just can’t wait to get their just rewards. Be careful what you ask for because the just reward may be Bob Barker in horns laughing at you for taking door number two. I have no idea what the afterlife is but I do know the light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter.

“The danger of civilization, is that, you’ll piss away your life on nonsense.”

James Harrison

As I remember my Aunt, the years of memories that I have of her. I also have reflected on my life and the meaning of it. The dash part. The part that represents the complete journey of our life. From the moment we took our first breath and continuing through all the ups and downs, twists and turns, and milestones along the way, up until this very moment in time. It’s a powerful reminder of the preciousness of life and the importance of making the most of every moment we have. How did we live that in between time. What did we do in the dash. I was looking at my Aunt’s Roosters and it hit me. She loved those things but some will be kept but mostly they will be put up, thrown away, taken to Goodwill never to be seen again. As Trent Razor so wonderfully wrote, “What have I become, my sweetest friend, everyone I know goes away in the end but you can have it all, my empire of dirt. The things we accumulate in the life has so much more meaning to us than the dash, that little line that is carved into the stone to be deeply engraved into the heart and soul of all whom it touched. So dig deep and chisel out that line, and live your dash to your fullest.